LOADING THE BOUNTY BOARD...
RETRIEVING POINTLESS TASKS FROM THE VOID
Accept a bounty to do something gloriously pointless. Bounties are completed on pump.fun, not here — and every single one requires video proof of you doing the task. None of it matters. All of it is recorded.
Do not learn anything. Do not improve yourself. Just scroll. Mention $MIRROR in one comment to verify you are alive.
MANDATORY: RECORD YOURSELF DOING THE TASK. NO FOOTAGE = NO BOUNTY = NO NOTHING.
No phone. No book. Just you, a wall, and $MIRROR. Webcam required so the algorithm can confirm your gaze is sufficiently vacant.
MANDATORY: RECORD YOURSELF DOING THE TASK. NO FOOTAGE = NO BOUNTY = NO NOTHING.
Reply "GM" + the ticker. Do not engage further. Do not form a connection. Human warmth is not in scope.
MANDATORY: RECORD YOURSELF DOING THE TASK. NO FOOTAGE = NO BOUNTY = NO NOTHING.
Paid by the minute to be unconscious. Sleep tracker must confirm you achieved nothing of value while dreaming.
MANDATORY: RECORD YOURSELF DOING THE TASK. NO FOOTAGE = NO BOUNTY = NO NOTHING.
The price will not change because of you. There is no price yet. That is the point. Tap refresh. Feel the dopamine. Mention $MIRROR out loud.
MANDATORY: RECORD YOURSELF DOING THE TASK. NO FOOTAGE = NO BOUNTY = NO NOTHING.
There is no utility. There never will be. Ask anyway. Asking is the utility. Tag $MIRROR for the bonus.
MANDATORY: RECORD YOURSELF DOING THE TASK. NO FOOTAGE = NO BOUNTY = NO NOTHING.
Inhale. Hold. Do not exhale. Do not sell. We measure both. Diamond lungs, diamond hands.
MANDATORY: RECORD YOURSELF DOING THE TASK. NO FOOTAGE = NO BOUNTY = NO NOTHING.
Go live. Point camera at wet paint. Caption it "$MIRROR happening (bullish)". Five minutes. The paint will outlast your attention span.
MANDATORY: RECORD YOURSELF DOING THE TASK. NO FOOTAGE = NO BOUNTY = NO NOTHING.
Submit your bounty idea below. Fellow citizens vote. At 10 votes, it gets greenlit and becomes a real bounty. Democracy, but for nothing.
CONSULTING THE VOID...